100 Days Project

Lindy: Never Postpone a Prompting

I am going to finely craft a paragraph everyday.
100 paragraphs = a collection of 5-8 short stories.
Life unscripted - these are to be a collection of my inner city tales - outrageous things I've seen and heard. I've always wanted to write them, half are still in my head, the others need fine-tuning.

About a month after being back in Auckland I went to a party with some old friends from London days and had some pills. I was right back to being a drunk fucking waster. And he was there. Her ex-husband. We knew each other of course, but not in this kind of environment. He clearly liked to party and now that I was back to my old ways we got on like a house on fire. I slept with him that first night. In their house, across the road. Oh life’s rich tapestry…

I can still recall that feeling of utter remorse when I woke up to what had happened. Without saying a word, hung-over and bereft with guilt I left through the back door and made it across the road without being seen. She never knew about that night. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her.

I started crossing the road once or twice a week. As only a drunk can do so very well, I began to blame her for everything. It was her fault I was miserable and confused. So we both pretended things were going to get better and I cheated on her with her ex-husband for the next six months.

The last time I saw her I was so drunk I can barely remember it. It was in the street between our houses. Her ex and I were getting out of a taxi after being out all night. We’d become complacent about hiding things and she was the last person we’d expected to see at 5am. She was heading out to the airport to catch an early flight to Sydney. She was about to get into her waiting taxi as we jumped out of ours. We literally all bumped into each other in the middle of the road. The look of utter devastation on her face has haunted me since that day. And as her face crumpled and she looked away from me, I realised that I’d destroyed the most beautiful relationship I’d ever had. What I had done was unforgiveable.

Its been a rocky road these past 20 years - staying sober hasnt been easy . Ina na dout of rehab, in and out of meaningless realtionships. That time with her was my longest period of sobriety. I’ve been sober a year tomorrow…

Day 24:

Across the Road